The problem is this... too often transgender people are reduced to their genitals and that sexuality is fixed not fluid. But those statements aren't true. Gender is not equal to genitals, and sexuality is fluid. So really, loving a transgender person is as simple as falling in love.

It's really much simpler than you might think to love a trans* person. So many people ask how a lesbian (my partner) can be in love with someone who isn't a woman (me). And it's not a foreign sentiment to hear... wondering how a straight woman could love a trans* man (though this in itself is a whole host of transphobic bollocks).... how a gay man might love a trans* woman. The whole thing leads you to believe that a trans* person is tough to love doesn't it?

The problem is this, too often trans* people are reduced to their genitals and that sexuality is fixed not fluid. But those statements aren't true. Gender is not equal to genitals, and sexuality is fluid. So really, loving a trans* person is as simple as falling in love. However, I myself feel like I can be tough to love and I doubt that is singular to me. Dysphoria and self doubt can get in the way of love and as a partner it can feel impossible to help someone out of those places.

When a trans* person comes out we should continue to love them in the same way we did before, they are the same person. The name and pronouns might change, but the person doesn't. The physicality of the person might change, but the person doesn't. Maybe loving a trans* person is a journey, sometimes you will love them through changes, surgery, names... Sometimes you will learn new things on the way. You will learn what it is like to live with dysphoria, you will learn how to make your loved one feel at ease with their alien body. You will learn the harsh realities of the world, that some people will hate you simply for your love. You will learn that an off hand comment can be a kick in the guts.

But the act of loving a trans* person is easy. You respect them for who they are, you do your best to learn and get things right, and you love them.